What do you do?

I sent my sister a text that said something along the lines of, "What do you do when you find out both of your sons and you have a horrible disease?"  A few weeks ago, I got confirmation that CJ, Bubby, and I have a genetic disease called Fabry disease.  It can cause a host of problems from early end-stage kidney disease to heart disease, stroke, and neuropathy.  There isn't a whole lot known about our mutation, though it seems to be a later onset version that is less severe.

 So what did I do?  It was nap time so I just sort of sat there after sending the text.  I thought about what I wanted to do--cry, yell, curl up in a ball.  Then I thought about what I should do.  So I started praying.  God reminded me of my favorite verse that says, "Give thanks in all circumstances."  So I just started thanking God for all the good I could think of and asked him to help me see more to be thankful for.  Then I turned on the Christian music and started singing.  It all seems crazy now, but God wants us to be crazy.  I still don't really know what to do.  Medically there isn't anything to be done at this point so when I start to get down about it I just remember to give thanks.

On the contrary, I am having a difficult time giving thanks when my patience is running short.  I checked out a couple books about organizing and household management since everything was getting away from me, and they were so helpful with motivating me if nothing else.  However, when you wash your 2 loads of laundry for the day and you are trying to fold them only to have your two year old sit on your folded stacks and then throw them on the ground, and then you have to fold them again but realize there is now dog fur on your towels and cloth napkins so you will have to wash and fold them again--it is REALLY, REALLY hard to say thanks.  And the worst part is my 2 year old is learning from my example which is no where near perfect when it comes to patience and self control.  It is a struggle.

Two year old just woke up from nap.  That's where I'm at.