As a Christian or someone trying to figure out if God is real, etc. there are often things that we just don't know what is right and what is wrong. I had a great conversation with a friend today on one of these topics. What are you supposed to do when you are stuck in limbo trying to figure out what is the truth? What do you do when you ask God, but you aren't hearing any clear answers?
God created gay/lesbian/bisexual/heterosexual people, right? Some heterosexual people might say that gay people choose their orientation. I have a really hard time believing that just because if that were the case, it would be a whole lot easier to choose to be heterosexual over being gay. I think God did create people to have different sexual orientations because God is a pretty creative God.
Christians always say that this "being gay is a sin." "Love the sinner not the sin." And so on and so forth. But what if you are gay and a Christian? The only seemingly plausible option for such a person is to be a gay Christian who remains celibate for the rest of their life. That seems simple enough until you take into account that real people have real emotions. Emotions that God gave them for a reason. You steal a cookie from the cookie jar, and you feel guilty about it. You see a cute kitten or puppy, and you want to cuddle with it. God gave us emotions for a reason.
So that brings about the question, what purpose does a gay Christian have in regards to their sexuality? Why did God make them gay? If I take everything that I've been taught about homosexuality, throw it away, and start from scratch, here is what I come up with:
God loves love. God wants us to love him. But we can't actually love God like we do with our brothers, sisters, friends, husbands, and wives. The only way we can truly love God is by loving others. Now that I am married, I've thought about this a lot more. I can love God by loving my husband. I can do laundry for him when he has to work late. I can talk with him, listen to him, cook dinner, clean the house, have sex(!), and so many other things that I can do to love God by showing love to my husband.
But if I am a lesbian, I can't do any of those things? I can do them, but I can only do it to a certain extent. I couldn't have a girlfriend? I couldn't get married? I would be forced to deny the feelings deep inside me that are pulling me closer to someone else. I couldn't love God by loving someone else in the way that a marriage/dating relationship allows us to love another.
Now I am forced to consider, well why would God not want that? Why couldn't I love someone else like a husband and wife/boyfriend and girlfriend do, just because they are the same gender as me?
Leviticus 20:13 clearly says, “If a man has sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads." But one chapter before that it says, "‘Keep my decrees. Do not mate different kinds of animals. Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material." Zonkeys are a pretty big deal. Corn and soybeans; and so many other seed mixes. My shorts are made of cotton & spandex. Does this mean I need to go through my wardrobe and throw away half my clothes? I think someone might have to explain why we can pick and choose which parts of the Bible still apply today because I honestly don't know the answer to that one.
If I remember correctly, there were some pretty important church people in the Bible who got smacked down when they were paying more attention to all the little "rules" of the Bible over what really mattered.
What really did matter? People loving God by loving people.
So is being gay wrong? No. God made gay people just like he made heterosexual people. Is being gay and acting on those feelings wrong? I don't know. Having sex outside of marriage is wrong, but that's not what everything is about in a gay relationship kind of like sex is not the basis of a heterosexual relationship. Could I potentially date someone who is the same gender as me, without having sex, and still be honoring God because I am loving someone else like he has asked us to do? What if gay marriage is legalized? Then what does that mean?
Take what you have been taught all along about homosexuality, throw it out the window, start from scratch, and see what you come up with. Cause what I came up with honestly shocked me a little bit. I don't know if I'm right or wrong, but it's just my thoughts. I have many years of Bible studying ahead of me, and I am sure that something I said may not be accurate, so correct me if I am wrong.
I'm not sure where I stand on this issue either (especially when it comes to gay marriage laws and such), but I believe that God allows people to have a lot of feelings, and tendencies toward sin, and that it's completely normal and human to have them, but that it's not okay to act on all of them.
ReplyDeleteIn the end, God's laws are meant only for our benefit, so if we choose to ignore one, it will only make life harder for us. I've struggled with the 'planting two types of seed' law too, but I choose to conclude that it was made for the benefit of the people who lived in that time.
Since Jesus fulfilled the law, we're not bound to the nit-picky stuff anymore. But the New Testament also talks about fornication and physical sin, so it seems that these laws are still important even to the born-again Christian.
I can't ignore the fact that God created man and woman to complement each other so perfectly. It makes me want to doubt that he intends for the same sex to be in a marital and sexual relationship. Whether gay marriage should be allowed by law or not is a completely different subject, because in that case, marriage is a legal contract that has financial and legal benefits. But in God's eyes, marriage is a bond between two people that includes sex, and having children to populate the earth. Of course some people are unable to have children, which is not anyone's fault. And some people choose not to have children, which is their right to do. But I can't help but doubt that God ever intended for a man and man or woman and woman to be joined in holy marriage, when he created man and woman to complement each other mentally, physically, and spiritually. (And I would say that includes romantic dating, because it's meant to lead to marriage.)
Then there are always gray areas like women who have extra testosterone and feel more like a man than a woman. But God is a personal God, and he works with each person in the area of their life that needs it most at that moment. And people who are attracted to the same sex are in the exact same boat as people who are attracted to the opposite sex, that is, hopelessly sentenced to death if not for the saving grace of Jesus Christ. So when you think of it that way, it doesn't seem like such a big deal anymore.
Sometimes the best answer really is, "I don't know." But I would hesitate to say "homosexuality" isn't a sin. Because sin isn't just something that brings harm to you or others, it's a description of God's nature. What God doesn't do, we are not supposed to do. So if we want to find the answer, we must determine whether it's in God's nature (and the way he intended the world to be) for people of the same sex to have romantic relationships. I don't have a definite answer, either.
The problem is that the world thinks that feelings cannot be separated from a person's identity, when in fact, a person is created from flesh and spirit, the flesh wanting things of the flesh, the spirit wanting things of the spirit. It's not wrong to have any type of feelings, but sometimes we have to choose to ignore them and do the right thing instead. It's hard to explain that to a non-Christian, which is why this debate gets so heated. "If you attack my sexual orientation, you attack my identity as a human being." When in reality our only real identity is that we are created and loved by God. Which means, in reality, there is no gay or straight. No labels.
Now that I've written an entire book here, I want to agree with you about the nit-picky stuff and what God really cares about. In the end, it's all about love and loving others, and I think that the way you are approaching the subject really reflects the way God intends for us to love others. :)) Go Amanda! :D
Amanda, call your pastor...or a pastor you trust. Call Scott... You want to seek the counsel of people that you know have studied the Bible. It is awesome that you are wanting to study things out for yourself.. Because everyone should be doing that! Don't just accept what you are taught, study for yourself. The way people "pick and choose" in a "biblical" way is that the language of the time is studied, and it is easy to know which parts are literal, and which parts are just metaphore, etc. I can't answer you in a very good way because I am not a Bible scholar... However, I want to say something about you saying that you can't love god without loving others. I think that you may have it backwards.. (and I don't want to sound like I'm being a butthead, because I don't mean it that way) but, TRUE love comes from God, therefore one cannot TRULY love another person or themselves without first having the love of God in their lives. I only THOUGHT that I knew what love was. Once I got saved, my idea of love was transformed. I'm not saying "unsaved" people are incapable of love... But REAL, TRUE love is from God. God IS love.. Now, I think that if people don't love themselves or others, that they must not have God in their lives. If I constantly say that I hate myself, then I completely ignore psalm 139 where it tells me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. If I say that I hate "so and so", then I neglect one of the 10 command,ents that tells me to love my neighbor as myself... I hope this is making sense becaus ei am REALLY sleep deprived! God made mankind with a free will. God is not stomping around forcing us to obey his commandments... But, I don't think that he created people to be gay. I think that if you look at human anatomy things just.. FIT.. If you catch my drift. Not only that, but in a marriage relationship god created the husband for specific purposes..the head of the household, and the woman for specific purposes... The help meet. In a homosexual relationship, who does what? Yeah.. My thoughts are jumbled, but I hope they made some sense. My best answer-- seek Godly counsel.. I don't think any pastor will be angry with you or be rude to you.. It is good to question and study! I love you!
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